GETTING 'SPAYED'

Last night I went to my vet to pick up my dog after being spayed. While waiting for the technician to bring out my dog I noticed an old friend exiting an exam room. Of course we started chatting about our pets. They had just gotten a new puppy and were bringing him in for his check up. I explained we were picking up our dog. We talked about past pets, current ones, how we wish we knew then what we know now...you get the picture.

It's at this point in the conversation that my old friend turns to me and asks "so when is YOUR puppy coming out?"

What do you mean? I thought to myself. What is he asking? Is he implying that I look PREGNANT? I knew I shouldn't have worn this shirt. It makes me look like I am hiding something OTHER than my 'fluffy' belly.

I couldn't believe I was finding myself in this situation. Not to say this hasn't happened before. I recall when I was in high school, 2 children in my neighbourhood approached me and asked me when my baby was coming out. I was only 170 pounds then. If they thought I was pregnant then, there is no wonder someone thinks that now.


All of us fluffy women have been in this dreaded situation. Although not everyone we meet feels the need to vocalize their curiousity about your growing girth. You notice the awkward glances and puzzled stares. You know what they are thinking and you cower at the thought of those dreaded words coming from their mouths "So...when is your due date?"

"Well I know when my period is DUE! Other than that I have no clue what you are talking about...hmph!!!"

Immediately my mind begins reeling in search of a way to get out this debacle while keeping my pride in tact and not making this extremely kind old friend feel bad for HIS (yes his) feaux pas? Do I say to him "Well unless I change species there will be no 'puppies' for me". Do I act wounded? Do I change subjects? I don't know. I am confused and embarassed and quite frankly, I am angry.

I know this person did not mean to insult me or hurt my feelings. I realize that it's an honest mistake and it can happen to anyone but STILL... I felt horrible not only for the implication but for feeling so ANGRY about it. Why was I making such a fuss? Why was I letting it hurt me? It's not like he called me fat or ignorant or, god forbid, a bad mother. He simply inquired when my PUPPY would be coming out. I suppose even the insinuation that I would birth puppies was hurting me as well. "What - so now I am a fat ugly dog?" This conversation was just spiraling into a very bad place.


After being flooded with all of these painful thoughts and emotions I reply to my friend with 'What puppy do you mean?'with a slightly 'irritated' tone.

He replies "I mean your puppy that is in the exam room with the vet".


O...M...G did I feel an idiot!!!

Now if I can stop laughing at myself for a second I will sum up my embarassment and say this...

Sometimes we can assume the worst when it comes to how people see us. Give people the benefit of the doubt before you jump to conlusions because they may surprise you. They may just value YOU for YOU and not how fluffy you THINK you are. In reality, it's usually our own inner critic that is the problem - not other people.

Lesson learned.