Yesterday I was reminded that some mothers are giving their daughter's body issues and they may not even be aware of it.
My eldest daughter Rhea invited a friend to her dance competition. When her friend saw some of the cropped top outfits she said she could never do competitive dance. Naturally I assumed it was because she was shy. In reality it was because her mother told her that her belly was too big. I told her she was perfect just the way she was. Of course she defended her mother and said 'it's not like she ever said I was fat' but this girl did not realize the damage her mother's comment had already done to her body image.
I have come across a few mothers who show obvious concern about their daughter's weight. I have seen 7 year olds on diets. I have heard mother's talking in hushed voices about their own and other people's 'overweight' children. These women don't' realize that if the children hear what these women are saying it will stay with them forever.
I recall as a child being told openly that I was overweight. I attended my first Weight Watchers meeting when I was only 8 years old with an aunt. I wanted to go but it was because everyone around me told me I was fat. From that time on I remember hating my body. I felt that people favoured my skinny sister because she was prettier and had less fat on her. I even had an aunt that openly favoured my sister and would invite her to go camping and not ask me. I still recall some of her hurtful remarks about my weight. Now here I am 30 years later, with the same attitude about my body.
Even the conversations we have about ourselves in front of our girls affects how they perceive themselves. If they hear us judging ourselves by our appearance will they not do the same to themselves? If we do not love and encourage ourselves how will our daughters? If we as parents truly teach by example what are we 'teaching' our children about body image?
From this day forward I am going to vow to be positive about my body. If I can't do this for myself I am going to do it for my daughters. I don't want them to think it's okay to hate anything about their bodies because it is not. And lets face it, how can I expect a positive self image from my children if I cannot do the same for myself.
My eldest daughter Rhea invited a friend to her dance competition. When her friend saw some of the cropped top outfits she said she could never do competitive dance. Naturally I assumed it was because she was shy. In reality it was because her mother told her that her belly was too big. I told her she was perfect just the way she was. Of course she defended her mother and said 'it's not like she ever said I was fat' but this girl did not realize the damage her mother's comment had already done to her body image.
I have come across a few mothers who show obvious concern about their daughter's weight. I have seen 7 year olds on diets. I have heard mother's talking in hushed voices about their own and other people's 'overweight' children. These women don't' realize that if the children hear what these women are saying it will stay with them forever.
I recall as a child being told openly that I was overweight. I attended my first Weight Watchers meeting when I was only 8 years old with an aunt. I wanted to go but it was because everyone around me told me I was fat. From that time on I remember hating my body. I felt that people favoured my skinny sister because she was prettier and had less fat on her. I even had an aunt that openly favoured my sister and would invite her to go camping and not ask me. I still recall some of her hurtful remarks about my weight. Now here I am 30 years later, with the same attitude about my body.
Even the conversations we have about ourselves in front of our girls affects how they perceive themselves. If they hear us judging ourselves by our appearance will they not do the same to themselves? If we do not love and encourage ourselves how will our daughters? If we as parents truly teach by example what are we 'teaching' our children about body image?
From this day forward I am going to vow to be positive about my body. If I can't do this for myself I am going to do it for my daughters. I don't want them to think it's okay to hate anything about their bodies because it is not. And lets face it, how can I expect a positive self image from my children if I cannot do the same for myself.
