On Tuesday evening my husband and I had an appointment with a financial consultant of sorts. It was at this appointment we would discuss our current debt load and potential solutions to ensure our 'financial survival' sort to speak.
We both felt trepidation to say the least. Up to the minute we walked into the gentleman's office the tension was palpable. We discussed the meeting, what we had to bring and information we had to share but still we were not prepared with the emotion that was involved in such a venture.
As soon as I heard this man talk I knew that he understood what he was talking about. He was thorough and precise in communicating all of the information required. We sat and listened to him feeling more and more at ease with him. Even as we disclosed all of our finances - a moment we were both dreading - he listened patiently, nodded thoughtfully and showed no sign of judgement of us or our finances which I feel we both were expecting to some degree.
At the end of our appointment the consultant gave us a short list of tasks we were to accomplish for the coming weeks in order to proceed to the next step. I was to do my 2009 business taxes, prepare a list of our assets and make a list of total debt as well as make a budget.
When we went into the appointment we had a rough number of our debt in mind but yesterday my husband and I decided to sit down and fill out a spreadsheet with more accurate numbers so we could be sure. After putting in all of the figures we were shocked to discover our overall debt was actually 50% higher...gulp!
As devastating as this news was we were still able to keep it in perspective-ish (I will admit I lashed out a bit which I regret now - I love you honey;)). My husband and I decided to grab the dogs and the kid (Rhea was at a friends) and get the heck out of Dodge. We went for a LONG walk and tried to let it all go.
Needless to say by the end we were winded and relieved and found something to laugh about other than being hopeless with money. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that despite our current dilemma we sill have each other and our children and in the end as long as we have that nothing else matters...
But the most important thing I have learned is that communication is key. Even if we were not clear enough with each other about debt as it was growing at least we can say that we openly discuss it now. I can honestly say that my relationship with my husband has grown and will continue to grow because we communicate. And regardless of what life throws at us we need to always remember that there is a way out of it if we work together.
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